Men courting women and women making an effort to be attractive to their man – they seem to be a dying breed. When you’re still madly in love at the start of a relationship, you pull out all the stops for the other person. Beautiful clothes, scent, candles, wine. But after a while, relationships often go downhill. Work, taking care of the kids, housekeeping, doing a bit of exercise. Before you know it, you’ve spent your evening comatose on the couch, happy that the kids are finally in bed. You don’t feel like doing anything else.

Seduce, feed, pleasure, lure

The animal kingdom does things differently. Seduce, feed, pleasure, lure. It’s a fixed part of life. Female European peacock butterflies spread a scent that appeals to all males in her vicinity, male southern masked weavers (small, bright-yellow birds) build complete dwellings to lure females, the bee-eater (another bird) shows his skills as a provider by feeding a potential mate with bees and insects and flamingos get each other in the mood by performing a beautiful dance. That includes male and female flamingos! Luring calls can be another way to make someone aware of your presence. So can showing off the beautiful colours of your feathers or fur. In the animal kingdom, males even regularly fight over the females. Sometimes, even to the death. The ultimate reward for all this seduction? Winning a partner for yourself and … MATING!

“It’s what’s on the inside that counts, isn’t it?”

Back to the human world. Although I know many Casanovas – both male and female examples – who are well-versed in the art of seduction, I often hear that people think it’s all a bit over the top. Something for the first year, when you’re still in love. “It should take care of itself, shouldn’t it?” “You should fancy me, even if I’m wearing a bin liner” Or: “It’s what’s on the inside that counts, isn’t it?”. All excuses to stay on the couch and not put in any effort. In the end, it results in a boring, mediocre relationship and a growing need for an exciting escapade. With someone else.

Put in a little more effort

Bring excitement back into your relationship, put in a little more effort and get excited again! Ensure proper personal hygiene, put on some nice scent, surprise your partner with a home-cooked meal or a present, wear clothes that your partner finds attractive, bring home a colourful bunch of flowers (a rose between your teeth works even better), seduce your partner with a dance or a serenade sung at the top of your lungs, decorate the house or let your partner know that you get a little jealous sometimes. Guess what your reward will be…